Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
