So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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