im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he shaved USA in his pubs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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