its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
