She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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