If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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