I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
