God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
