Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
