Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i permit you to call me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
