Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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