Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
