its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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