He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
