Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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