I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
