I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
