my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
