Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
