Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
