The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
