Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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