I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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