____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
