I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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