You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
