i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
