my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
