a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
