I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
