Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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