batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
