The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
