This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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