Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
