I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
