Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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