i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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