tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
