made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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