just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
