im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
