remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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