billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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