i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
