Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
