No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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