her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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