i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
