Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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