I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
