don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize